A520.3.3.RB_SharpMelissa

Throughout this course, you will be asked to reflect on a set of questions presented and respond in a well-written post to your Reflection Blog. Do not simply list and answer the prompts. Instead, write your blog, incorporating your thoughts into your reflection. Make certain to incorporate your own experiences into your reflection.

Pablo Picasso said that “every act of creation is, first of all, an act of destruction”. Consider this statement in light of constraints we place on ourselves in the workplace. What are some constraints that you need to destroy before you can engage in creative problem solving? Give an example of how a constraint you placed on yourself prevented you from solving a problem. Reflect on what you could have done differently and how you will prevent that constraint from limiting you in the future.

As I consider my next steps within the ERAU organization, I realize that there are constraints I put on myself, up to this point.  As an Associate Campus Director, the next advancement opportunity at an ERAU Worldwide Campus is Campus Director. The thought of being a Campus Director (CD) used to scare me; I was afraid of being a CD because I was afraid of failing. It is unfortunate that I allowed my fears to guide my decisions and hold me back from pursuing great opportunities.

CD candidates must have a master’s degree. Surprisingly, pursuing my master's did not scare me; the biggest issue was that I placed unrealistic expectations on myself. My unrealistic expectations included no life-disruptions, no issues with work-life balance, no mistakes, no sacrifices and no time wasting behaviors. However, as I continued in my MSLD pursuit, my life was disrupted; I lacked work-life balance; I made mistakes; I had to sacrifice many good things for the greater thing, and realized that I was wasting time. I was wasting time because I wanted to complete each course, flawlessly. My wasted time was essentially procrastination. Citing Ellis and Knaus (1977), Haghbin, McCaffrey, and Pychyl (2012) stated that people who procrastinate tend to irrationally believe that they are inadequate (p. 250). For example, when I was unable to submit an assignment on time, I withdrew from the course instead of taking the low grade. After withdrawing from the course, “life happened” and I was unable to take courses back-to-back as I originally intended.  I limited myself and allowed perfectionism to overrule perseverance and completion. 

I know, I know, this regret-loaded blog sounds quite sad; however, my story of constraint regrets does have a happy, realistic ending. For example, I learned that I have to stop allowing fear-based reasoning to hold me back from pursuing the things that bring me joy.  Now that I am aware of my character defects (limitations), I consistently evaluate them so that I am not allowing them to determine my future. Finally, my new MSLD goals are perseverance, excellence, and  degree-complete, not perfection. I certainly will do my best but I will not let imperfection keep me away from my desires!  

Haghbin, M., Mccaffrey, A., & Pychyl, T. A. (2012). The complexity of the               relation between fear of failure and procrastination. Journal of Rational - Emotive &       Cognitive - Behavior  Therapy, 30(4), 249- 263.            http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/10.1007/s10942-012-0153-9

A520.2.3.RB_SharpMelissa

Andy Puddicombe (2012) discussed several important points about remaining present and spending time doing nothing. For the next three days, spend time practicing Puddicombe’s techniques. After the three days, reflect on the following in a well-written and integrated blog post: 

What is the expected value of spending 10 minutes doing nothing? What did you learn about yourself and your own stress through this exercise? Is this something you will continue and will you encourage others to practice these techniques? Why or Why not? How can remaining in the present reduce stress? 

I used to think meditation meant that we could not think about anything while meditating. It is hard to "not think"  when our minds are constantly bombarded. Therefore, I was quite surprised when Andy Puddicombe said meditation is not stopping our thoughts and emotions, it's stepping back to clearly look at them (2012). Andy also noted that we are not trying to control our minds when we meditate, we are actually looking at our thoughts without judgment (2012).

The world is always calling for my attention and sometimes the noise is most overwhelming when it’s coming from the things, people, and activities that I love. How can I take a moment of silence when work is piling up, physically and mentally? How can I take a moment of silence when the needs of my family are ever before me? How is it possible to do nothing when there are so many somethings to do? How do we quiet the rush of our body and soul? The answer to silencing the noise in our lives is physical and mental silence.

Although I have been practicing silent prayer and meditation for years, I sometimes fight against my thoughts when in those moments of silence.  I was so focused on clearing my thoughts that I wasn't mentally present. Taking time to practice 10 minutes of silence while allowing myself to look at my thoughts and emotions was a good experience for me.  Through this 10-minute meditation exercise, I learned that I didn't have to fight against my thoughts.

As I've been thinking about busyness in my life , I learned that busyness and doing the things that I really want to do are two different things. Sometimes we are so focused on the urgent that we let important things pass by (Whetten and Cameron, 2016, p. 98). For example, I used to be the kind of person who had a really hard time saying "no". The thing is, great opportunities were presented to me and because they were good, fun, and noble, I thought I should do them. I would say "yes" before praying about things or considering previous commitments. Additionally, important things would be neglected because of my lack of balance. However, I have learned (still learning) that the best way for me to balance my life is to honor my priorities; making time for prayer and meditation is one of my top priorities. If I don't make time to be still, I know my stress level will increase and I will lack balance in my life. Therefore, meditation is a necessity for me and definitely something I recommend for others. 

Puddicombe, Andy (2012) https://youtu.be/qzR62JJCMBQ

Whetton, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills, 9th ed. Boston, MA:Pearson.

A520.1.3.RB_SharpMelissa

Honestly, I like to think that I was pretty self-aware before starting the MSLD program. However, we all know that there is always room for growth, positive change, and improvement. Thus, I will say I have changed in that I am more comfortable with exposing myself in an academic environment. As a person who has a habit (most times it's a good thing) of rule-keeping, in the past, I would have given a textbook answer to reflective assignments like this one. I have no problem reflecting on my own but when asked to share these reflections with an instructor  and classmates in whom I am not intimately acquainted? Um, no. "No!" is the resistance I felt about the reflective exercises that our blog assignments require.

I started this program at an important time in my personal life. Personally, I had been working on issues I have with codependency in a real recovery program that requires self-disclosure, self-awareness, honesty, transparency, you name it...all of the uncomfortable, exposing things. As I have been working on my recovery and growing as a student in this program, I can clearly see how I have changed. As noted by Whetten and Cameron (2016), I have come to believe that what I value, how I feel about myself, how I interact with others, what I want to accomplish, and what I am attracted to, are all strongly influenced by my emotional intelligence, values, cognitive style, orientation toward change, and core self-evaluation (p.48). I wouldn't have been able to summarize those thoughts without learning the details of these terms throughout the MSLD program and within my recovery program.

Since my self-awareness is heighten, I have a better understanding of who I am, what I value, how I interpret information, and how I am seen by others.  My growth in self-awareness is not only based on what I am learning about myself, emotionally, but also cognitively. Cognitively, I am learning about the way I gather information and the way I evaluate and act on the information I receive (Whetten and Cameron, 2016, p.59). I have learned that I am a bit of a researcher; I didn’t realize how much I thrive in research-heavy situations. For example, although my job title is not “researcher”, as a campus manager, I feel like I am researching a student’s case, an academic standard, an ERAU policy, everyday! Most of the situations that I have to research are triggered by problems, problems that require immediate answers.  I don’t remember when I noticed this about myself but the euphoria experienced when I find my answers or solve a case, is pretty intense. I love the feeling of solving impossible problems. I believe that I learned this about myself through my experience in the MSLD program and through my own self-reflection.

Overall, my level of self-awareness has increased since making personal changes and being in the MSLD program. I am willing to take a deeper look inside and self-disclose what I am learning. I have been introspective since I was a child; my mother called me the deeper thinker of the bunch (siblings) so journaling about my feelings has never been an issue for me. As a result, taking time to dig deeper  definitely put me on the pathway to self-awareness. However, writing about values and deeply personal thoughts is only one step in the pursuit of self-awareness. Whetten and Cameron (2016) note that it is almost impossible to increase self-awareness unless we interact with and disclose ourselves to others; unless we are willing to open up to others, to discuss aspects of ourselves that seem ambiguous or unknown, little growth can ever occur (p.46).  I have to say that self-disclosure is one of the biggest changes I see in myself and that others see in me.  Instead of keeping my feelings and thoughts tucked away, I communicate them. Instead of assuming that I am understood, I seek to understand others and ask others if clarification is needed from me when I am communicating.  Coupled with my own life experiences, the MSLD program consistently provides exercises for continued growth in my self-awareness. 

Whetton, D. A. & Cameron, K. S. (2016). Developing management skills, 9th ed. Boston, MA: Pearson.