First, view the video below. Then use your blog to describe an example of a successful conflict resolution that you have either witnessed or participated in.
- What was the conflict?
- What role did you play?
- Who were the other participants in the negotiation?
- Knowing what you know now, how might you have changed your actions or improved the solution?
Since we have been talking about conflict resolution this week, I shared about a recent conflict I experienced; I shared it in my discussion post.
I am a part of a Christ-centered recovery group called Celebrate Recovery; not only am I a participant in this organization, I am also a volunteer-leader. As a part of the leadership team, I get to work with people who are in recovery; people who are my friends, and people who are volunteers just like me. I have been a volunteer-leader for three years and I really enjoy it. However, working with leaders whose leading-styles are different from mine has come with its challenges. Still, no matter the challenges, we work together for the good of our relationships and Celebrate Recovery. In the past, I used to allow issues to pill up before addressing them, however, I have come to realize the value of honest communication and gentle confrontation. So, when conflict arose within our group, I wanted to address it and not avoid it like I had done in the past.
I could easily say that the conflict was many different things, however, the overall issue was our lack of communication. I communicated to the team my honest thoughts. I explained that I felt like we were in a fading marriage, not a bad marriage. In a fading marriage, communication slowly stops and the things that were once important no longer matter. Like a fading marriage, our communication was fading; important details turned into afterthoughts; we were just getting by when we really needed to be present in our event planning. Things had gotten so bad that other Celebrate Recovery participants began to notice. Because I couldn't take it anymore, I asked for a meeting to discuss my concerns. When we had conflicts in the past, several people would speak at once because everyone was so passionate about their view. Therefore, this time I asked that the group listen while I share and then I opened the floor for feedback. Honestly, I did not know how it was going to go. I didn't know if others would take offense or become defensive; I didn't know if I'd be criticized for voicing my honest, but hard, thoughts; I was afraid.
As I think back on that situation, I realize that I had nothing to fear. It is as though I forgot that I was in the presence of people who love and respect me. I shouldn't have been surprised to hear that they felt the same feelings, they just hadn't voiced them. In this case, conflict resolution was positive because all parties involved were able to admit that there was a problem. William Ury (2010) noted that it is easy to lose prospective when in the middle of conflict; I agree. Our words hold so much weight that in the mist of arguing, we forget just how impacting our words are. I am thankful that in the case of conflict resolution with my volunteer-leaders, the words that we spoke over one another were seasoned in grace and understanding.
If I had to go through this situation again, I believe I would handle it the same way. I was not rash in my actions; I prayed before speaking; my words were not spoken out of meanness; my motivation was not character assassination. Our conflict was birthed out of ineffective communication and communicating this issue to my team proved to be the best decision. Therefore, I would not change anything about my approach. If I had to make any changes it would be to address the issues sooner and without fear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc6yi_FtoNo&feature=youtu.be
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